Buy me a cup of coffee..

Heaven's doors wont open up to me ,with these broken wings im fallin... - Satan =]


Living on your own is liberating in ways which arent all good. For almost 2 decades someone or the other (read : mom) has been telling me what to do and now suddenly there just blank silence. Theres no one to judge my early morning excuses and i was never high on a moral conscious. I woke up from the alarm at 7:30 in the morning.. i wasnt feeling great but if i pushed myself harder i wouldv survived the workshop at 8, by instinct i came up with the excuse "im sick..iv got a fever..blahblah"..without Sgt. Mom i knew the excuse was just a formality to keep my vague sense of right and wrong from eroding.
Speaking of people telling me what to do, i was playing soccer yesterday and the ref. was this stocky scottish bloke! Instead of keeping the game in check he was trying to instigate a brawl! everytime i would make a strong tackle he`d, instead of telling me to keep it cool, say " thats the way! cmon lad get into it!" ( khattak wouldv liked him)
I saw a ghost in my room the other day. Maybe i was hallucinating as a result of being lonely in my room without a laptop (and hot blond girl) and a massive lack of sleep. Loneliness gets to you sometimes. It gets you so bad that you start to think. Yes, think. I was up late last night, couldnt sleep. I started to think about how i got here. I remembered a time 3 months ago when i had a similar discussion with myself, back then i mapped out all the possibilities and options i had for what i thought the future could hold for me. This one right here, the one possibility im living right now, was never an option. Fate in one instance in described.. :

" walk any path in destiny`s garden and you will be forced to choose not once but many times. The paths fork and divide with each step you take through destiny`s garden you make a choice ; and every choice determines future paths. However, at the end of a lifetime of walking you might look back and see only one path stretching out behind you ; or look ahead, and see only darkness." - Neil Gaiman , ' The Sandman '.

The next step i take will put me on a path which would cross the path of a hot blonde girl :D. hehe.. theres this spanish (looks so) chick sitting on the pc next to me and is constantly peeping at my window! This can mean one of three random possiblities:
1. Shes cross-eyed
2. She finds my post more interesting than this document she has open with biological lookin diagrams and lotsa blah blah.
3. She wants me.
so hey spanish chick if your reading this, buy me a cup coffee and i`ll tell you why cats smile..