A fraction of my thoughts at 4:23am 11 Nov. 2005.

"eyes of a fallen angel... eyes of a tragedy.. "

eggs, cheese, butter and bread - my diet for the past week. i ran out of chicken and i cant be bothered to goto town and buy more. i`v been hooked to this song by james blunt since iv been here, hes like the new big thing here.. its " your beautiful" .. i listen to it because i can relate to it in a weird way. "i saw your face in a crowded place.. and i dont know what to do.. coz i`ll.." it hits base =/. someone asked me why i write blogs the other days, like what purpose they served. i kinda linked it to her having a phone conversation with her friends, like why does she do it ? to talk , to let stuff out and confide in friends... thats what i do here i suppose.. i cant talk to my friends from here.. but i need to get whatever im thinking out of my system , because i really dont like to think much , im happy in a blissful state of nothingness. thats the best =] , its like your young again , i have no worries, im living in the moment. i see the sky , i see the pattern in which the rain falls, i follow it up till sight dissapears into the dark sky . i notice the trees, i notice the colors.. im open to the effect of my surroundings.. i notice the the dual tones of the lush green hills.. one in the sun and the rest in the shade..i love the way it excites my senses. so i write what i think, i onfide to my friends - you might say this is publically accessable, but i write more inbetween the lines that i do in appearance. i make alot of blatant spelling mistakes, i sometimes wonder how i made it to uni. without ever learning how to write, how to spell and most of all about that crap grammar! i still have no clue about any of the rules... so i write unedited to portray my thoughts, i have my one way phone conversation this way... sometimes i write my soul , but im not worried about privacy.. i think its over-rated anyways.. respect is more important than privacy. why should you care about what people know about you? is it going to effect you in any way? not unless you let it. if its not a physical effect, then its a self inflicted effect, because you control whatever you let bother you, i choose not to let most stuff bother me. No matter what someone knows about me or think , i`ll continue to live. my fate is predecided.. i try not to worry , no tention.. because the least i can do is walk my predestined path with a smile. thats the least anyone can do.
i came across this.. it made me think..so i have to write it out of me.
" our external symbols must always express the life within us with absolute precision; how could they do otherwise, since that life has generated them? therefor we must not blame our poor symbols if they take forms that seem trivial to us or absrud for... the nature of our life alone has determined their forms. A critique of these symbols is a critique of ourselves. " - Angela Carter -