Of things known and unknown.

Is there is a thread that starts in another plane, crosses into this plan where I’m conscious about having a life, then it is supposed to cross back before it does a cross-stitch to cover up what was known as my existence here on earth?

How many of us have wondered about it? Why can’t we find the answer? Why do we suppress our curiosity? Where is this all going? Where all has it gone to so far? Where is it at right now?

So what happens when you die? Am I the only one who thinks about that, even though I write “Muslim” whenever a form asks me my religion? If I’m not the only one then why is everyone so obsessed with the accumulation of material wealth? This life is temporary, why the need for a bigger flat screen T.V? Why the struggle to save for a better car? Why lie to the beggar to afford a nicer meal? Why the fuss to find a financially settled husband? Why the designer bag and the Rolex watch?

If I really believe, why am I not out there doing everything I possibly can to earn as much divine brownie points to improve my chances to get into heaven? Why will I still wake up in the morning, convince myself that I’m working towards a better tomorrow and go through my routine for the day? Shouldn’t I be out there feeding the hungry, sheltering the homeless, lending a hand to the needy and standing up for a cause? Shouldn’t you? 

What if I get into heaven? Will I just spend eternity drinking from the rivers of milk and bedding the dozens of “virgins”? Is heaven really the promise of gluttony and debauchery? Do people actually believe that they will indulge in all their fantasies in the after- life if they just control their perversion in this? Don’t they find it slightly ironic? If, in heaven, I’m supposed to get the woman I fancy in this life, then what of her? What if she doesn’t fancy spending eternity with me? Will she be a clone? If I know not any ambition, any jealousy, any vice and any sense of space/time, then will I still know lust and love? What if this life is just the test between heaven and hell? What if we’re all coming from hell and God is testing us to see if we’re ready for heaven now? Isn’t it the easy way out to just lose ones-self in religion and shutout the real world? Isn’t that cheating the test? Is it a coincidence that belief-systems exist, when without them there would be open anarchy? Without it we would never discover what civil means to a civilization? Would we find an alternative route in our evolutionary pursuit to achieve equilibrium with our surroundings; like all living organisms? Or would we fail just the same?

If I just walked out my gate tomorrow morning to go help the needy, how long will it be till I myself become one with the needy? What of my dreams? Is it a materialistic pursuit to want to see the whole world? Is it wrong to want to walk that mile to see if that really is love; this time, and not just another mirage? What is the noble pursuit? Could we exist without commerce? 

Murtaza, you’re a hypocrite aren’t you? Why are you so conflicted? Does your curiosity of the after-life and its mechanics outweigh your curiosity of this life? How long before the scales tilt? Are you made of stone? Will you still wake up tomorrow in the pursuit of your own happiness? You will, wont you? Do you know something that the rest of the world doesn’t?